Yes With Joy

Resistance steals energy.  I’d always heard it, but I didn’t really believe it.  Until today.  They say that if you are doing the things you like, you will feel energized when you do them.  Those same people, whomever they may be, also say that if you do things that you don’t really want to do, then you feel drained.

For example, if you love your job, you will feel energized and it won’t feel like work.  However, if you dread your job or it just doesn’t interest you that much, you are more tired at the end of the day.

Well yesterday, I was tired but also energized.  In fact, I was even still excited and bouncing at eleven o’clock at night.  I’d spent the day doing stuff that I love, such as writing, learning and leading a discussion.  Today, I was looking forward to the meetings I had from nine to four.  Apparently, I wasn’t looking forward to them as much as I thought I was.  I was exhausted by the end of the day.

When I look back on the experience, I realize that while I chose to participate in the meetings, there was resistance.  I showed up late to the first, wasn’t super prepared for the second, and didn’t pay attention to the clock and was late to the last.  Oops.

But there was gold.  I did get to talk with people I hadn’t seen in a long time.  I was able to shift out of a headache. I was able to contribute valuable input.  And hey, I even found out that something very big that I’d matrixed came out in our favor…big time.

I guess the lesson of the week is to feel good by doing what you love.  And if you have to do other stuff too, then…try to neutralize your feelings so at least it doesn’t drag down your energy or simply find the gold.  And now that I’m writing, I feel much more energized, so another choice is to follow what you resist with something you love.  As soon as you do what you love, your energy will grow.

Being in love and being neutral at the same time is a really strange feeling.  With one, it’s all consuming. With the other, it’s almost no feeling…or so it seems.

Let me explain.  I fell in love recently, and he’s a great guy, but unfortunately he lives 1,200 miles away.  We talk every day, multiple times a day, and recently he came to visit for two weeks.  The light-hearted, fluttery feeling of love was there.  But when he left, I realized that I was neutral…really neutral.  If we continued to date, it would be great.  If not, then he raised my expectations for what to hope for from a man.  (He’s that good.)

At first this threw me for a loop.  What if I didn’t really love him?  So, I focused on what I wanted…the feelings I have with him and all his good points.  Not only this, but my friends say they can see it on my face, and I have a new softness about me. And besides, I think of multiple things during the day that I’d like to share with him.

But wait, all my spiritual teachings have been guiding me toward neutrality – I’m okay if I do, and I’m okay if I don’t.  Wasn’t this a perfect example?  It’s just strange being so neutral and not feeling the society-accepted definition of love…the pining away, the longing, the other yearnings.  I can find the feelings, but they aren’t overwhelming me as they would have in the past.

With this wonderful man, I can speak my mind (mindful of how I communicate) without worrying about pleasing him.  I can be me.  What a concept…being me while in a relationship!  In fact, I feel like I’m a better me when I’m with him.

And one of the best things about neutrality is that if things between us dissolve, all I have to do is say, “Next.”  And I’m ready to move on.   It’s all about taking the energy out of things.  They are neither right nor wrong.  They just are.  I guess I have learned something with all this studying.

But for now, I’m going to smell the 18 roses he sent me yesterday.  Love sure can be sweet.

Ladies’ Night In was last night. Each month, I invite a few female friends to get together and chat at my home. In October, we had a bonfire. November was busy and I was out of town more than I was in (or so it seemed), so we skipped November. December’s Ladies’ Night In was a bust. Only two people could come. But as the date neared, we decided to go to downtown Chicago and ended up with five of us. Two friends from downtown could now join us. We had a great time, but at 11:45 I was yawning and had to call it quits. It was still an hour before I got home and slipped into bed. Read the rest of this entry »