Yes With Joy

Resistance steals energy.  I’d always heard it, but I didn’t really believe it.  Until today.  They say that if you are doing the things you like, you will feel energized when you do them.  Those same people, whomever they may be, also say that if you do things that you don’t really want to do, then you feel drained.

For example, if you love your job, you will feel energized and it won’t feel like work.  However, if you dread your job or it just doesn’t interest you that much, you are more tired at the end of the day.

Well yesterday, I was tired but also energized.  In fact, I was even still excited and bouncing at eleven o’clock at night.  I’d spent the day doing stuff that I love, such as writing, learning and leading a discussion.  Today, I was looking forward to the meetings I had from nine to four.  Apparently, I wasn’t looking forward to them as much as I thought I was.  I was exhausted by the end of the day.

When I look back on the experience, I realize that while I chose to participate in the meetings, there was resistance.  I showed up late to the first, wasn’t super prepared for the second, and didn’t pay attention to the clock and was late to the last.  Oops.

But there was gold.  I did get to talk with people I hadn’t seen in a long time.  I was able to shift out of a headache. I was able to contribute valuable input.  And hey, I even found out that something very big that I’d matrixed came out in our favor…big time.

I guess the lesson of the week is to feel good by doing what you love.  And if you have to do other stuff too, then…try to neutralize your feelings so at least it doesn’t drag down your energy or simply find the gold.  And now that I’m writing, I feel much more energized, so another choice is to follow what you resist with something you love.  As soon as you do what you love, your energy will grow.

I just got off the phone with my 24 year old son, who is finishing college.  And I have to say, I’m very proud of the young man he is turning out to be.  Somewhere along the way, things switched for him and he became a hard working young man with really solid morals and beliefs. I could have told him how to be, work and believe (and I tried until I was blue in the face), but something clicked in his head about two years ago and he discovered the man he wants to be.

Tonight, he called for help with some homework.  He wanted me to look over his Coaching Philosophy statement and help him tweak it.  I was impressed with the draft that he presented me.  But I was more impressed with how we worked together through numerous drafts, something we hadn’t been able to do in the past.  He said things such as, “I was thinking that that word was wrong” when I tweaked a specific word.  Or  “I agree with how that sentence is now.”  Or “The reason I want it this way is….”

He was respectful while working with me.  He took responsibility for his work.  He was willing to work hard at this assignment even though it was 11 at night, and he still has to study for an exam.  And he showed the discipline to stay with the assignment until it was done correctly.  He’s really living his own coaching philosophy.  Way to go JT!!!

I’ve included his assignment if you are interested:

JT’s Coaching Philosophy

            One never truly fails until they stop trying.  My coaching philosophy is to teach my athletes what it takes to be a success in and out of sports. They will learn the values of hard work, discipline, respect, and responsibility. With these values, the boys will grow into men. My athletes will work harder and do more than the next team through structured discipline. Every day in or out of practice, we will improve at least one thing. Every athlete on the team is important to the team’s success. I will encourage all my athletes to do more than their perceived best. It is important to respect themselves and enjoy the spirit of the sport. Respect does not stop in the gym, but it is used out in the community, at home, with our fans, and especially with our opponents. This philosophy will carry these athletes through life long after the win is forgotten. I will give my athletes the tools to be successful. It is their responsibility to use them.

I thought snuggling on the couch, in front of the fireplace, doing homework with my teenage son was something of the past, but I was wrong…thankfully. It was a golden moment brought to us over a hard road. You see, I had had to step up to the plate and be a tough parent who ruined my son’s high school life, maybe even his whole life.

Being a typical teenager…in fact being human…he made a mistake. (No I’m not going to tell you what it was.) We discussed it. I let it roll around in my head for 24 hours. And then I delivered the verdict, which included me talking to the parents of the other boys involved. It was this last part that “ruined” his high school life. Read the rest of this entry »